Top 50 Programming Quotes
50. "Programming today is a race between software engineers
striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs,
and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots.
So far, the universe is winning." - Rick Cook
49. "Lisp isn't a language -- it's a building material." -
Alan Kay
48. "Walking on water and developing software from a
specification are easy if both are frozen." - Edward V.
Berard
47. "They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore." - Olav Mjelde
46. "A programming language is low level when its programs
require attention to the irrelevant." - Alan J. Perlis
45. "A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance
floor by people carrying razors." - Waldi Ravens
44. "I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to
use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no
longer figure out how to use my telephone." - Bjarne
Stroustrup
43. "Computer science education cannot make anybody an
expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment
can make somebody an expert painter." - Eric S. Raymond
42. "Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything
did, you'd be out of a job." - Mosher's Law of Software
Engineering
41. "I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn't show up in
a Unix directory listing." - Oktal
40. "Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a
programming language should be like. But Java applications
are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like." -
pixadel
39. "Considering the current sad state of our computer
programs, software development is clearly still a black art,
and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline." - Bill
Clinton
38. "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should
therefore be regarded as a criminal offense." - E.W.
Dijkstra
37. "In the one and only true way, the object-oriented
version of 'Spaghetti code' is, of course, 'Lasagna code'
(too many layers)." - Roberto Waltman
36. "FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed; it is hardy,
occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer." - Alan J.
Perlis
35. "For a long time it puzzled me how something so
expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it
occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the
ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer
programmers are smart people with the ability to do
incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect
match." - Bill Bryson
34. "In my egotistical opinion, most people's C programs
should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt."
- Blair P. Houghton
33. "When someone says: 'I want a programming language in
which I need only say what I wish done,' give him a
lollipop." - Alan J. Perlis
32. "The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is a non-typed
language. C is a weakly typed language. Ada is a strongly
typed language. C++ is a strongly hyped language." - Ron
Sercely
31. "Good design adds value faster than it adds cost." -
Thomas C. Gale
30. "Python's a drop-in replacement for BASIC in the sense
that Optimus Prime is a drop-in replacement for a truck." -
Cory Dodt
29. "Talk is cheap. Show me the code." - Linus Torvalds
28. "Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is
nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take
away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupry
27. "C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success." - Dennis
M. Ritchie
26. "In theory, theory and practice are the same. In
practice, they're not." - Yogi Berra
25. "You can't have great software without a great team, and
most software teams behave like dysfunctional families." -
Jim McCarthy
24. "PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by
incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious
evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals." -
Jon Ribbens
23. "Programming is like kicking yourself in the face:
sooner or later your nose will bleed." - Kyle Woodbury
22. "Perl -- the only language that looks the same before
and after RSA encryption." - Keith Bostic
21. "It is easier to port a shell than a shell script." -
Larry Wall
20. "I invented the term 'Object-Oriented,' and I can tell
you I did not have C++ in mind." - Alan Kay
19. "Learning to program has no more to do with designing
interactive software than learning to touch type has to do
with writing poetry" - Ted Nelson
18. "The best programmers are not marginally better than
merely good ones. They are an order-of-magnitude better,
measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed,
ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability." - Randall
E. Stross
17. "If McDonald's were run like a software company, one out
of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and
the response would be, 'We're sorry; here's a coupon for two
more.'" - Mark Minasi
16. "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it
correct, not tried it." - Donald E. Knuth
15. "Computer system analysis is like child-rearing; you can
do grievous damage, but you cannot ensure success." - Tom
DeMarco
14. "I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not
shipping your machine!" - Vidiu Platon
13. "Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than
spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code." -
Christopher Thompson
12. "Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like
measuring aircraft building progress by weight." - Bill
Gates
11. "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the
first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as
possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug
it." - Brian W. Kernighan
10. "People think that computer science is the art of
geniuses, but the actual reality is the opposite, just many
people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of
mini stones." - Donald Knuth
9. "First learn computer science and all the theory. Next
develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just
hack." - George Carrette
8. "Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a
programmer. There are three, of course: laziness,
impatience, and hubris." - Larry Wall
7. "Most software today is very much like an Egyptian
pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other,
with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force
and thousands of slaves." - Alan Kay
6. "The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell
what a programmer is doing until it's too late." - Seymour
Cray
5. "To iterate is human, to recurse divine." - L. Peter
Deutsch
4. "On two occasions I have been asked [by members of
Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine
wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not
able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas
that could provoke such a question." - Charles Babbage
3. "Most good programmers do programming not because they
expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but
because it is fun to program." - Linus Torvalds
2. "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your
code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
- Martin Golding
1. "There are two ways of constructing a software design.
One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no
deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated
that there are no obvious deficiencies." - C.A.R. Hoare
50. "Programming today is a race between software engineers
striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs,
and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots.
So far, the universe is winning." - Rick Cook
49. "Lisp isn't a language -- it's a building material." -
Alan Kay
48. "Walking on water and developing software from a
specification are easy if both are frozen." - Edward V.
Berard
47. "They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore." - Olav Mjelde
46. "A programming language is low level when its programs
require attention to the irrelevant." - Alan J. Perlis
45. "A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance
floor by people carrying razors." - Waldi Ravens
44. "I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to
use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no
longer figure out how to use my telephone." - Bjarne
Stroustrup
43. "Computer science education cannot make anybody an
expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment
can make somebody an expert painter." - Eric S. Raymond
42. "Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything
did, you'd be out of a job." - Mosher's Law of Software
Engineering
41. "I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn't show up in
a Unix directory listing." - Oktal
40. "Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a
programming language should be like. But Java applications
are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like." -
pixadel
39. "Considering the current sad state of our computer
programs, software development is clearly still a black art,
and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline." - Bill
Clinton
38. "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should
therefore be regarded as a criminal offense." - E.W.
Dijkstra
37. "In the one and only true way, the object-oriented
version of 'Spaghetti code' is, of course, 'Lasagna code'
(too many layers)." - Roberto Waltman
36. "FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed; it is hardy,
occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer." - Alan J.
Perlis
35. "For a long time it puzzled me how something so
expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it
occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the
ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer
programmers are smart people with the ability to do
incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect
match." - Bill Bryson
34. "In my egotistical opinion, most people's C programs
should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt."
- Blair P. Houghton
33. "When someone says: 'I want a programming language in
which I need only say what I wish done,' give him a
lollipop." - Alan J. Perlis
32. "The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is a non-typed
language. C is a weakly typed language. Ada is a strongly
typed language. C++ is a strongly hyped language." - Ron
Sercely
31. "Good design adds value faster than it adds cost." -
Thomas C. Gale
30. "Python's a drop-in replacement for BASIC in the sense
that Optimus Prime is a drop-in replacement for a truck." -
Cory Dodt
29. "Talk is cheap. Show me the code." - Linus Torvalds
28. "Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is
nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take
away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupry
27. "C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success." - Dennis
M. Ritchie
26. "In theory, theory and practice are the same. In
practice, they're not." - Yogi Berra
25. "You can't have great software without a great team, and
most software teams behave like dysfunctional families." -
Jim McCarthy
24. "PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by
incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious
evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals." -
Jon Ribbens
23. "Programming is like kicking yourself in the face:
sooner or later your nose will bleed." - Kyle Woodbury
22. "Perl -- the only language that looks the same before
and after RSA encryption." - Keith Bostic
21. "It is easier to port a shell than a shell script." -
Larry Wall
20. "I invented the term 'Object-Oriented,' and I can tell
you I did not have C++ in mind." - Alan Kay
19. "Learning to program has no more to do with designing
interactive software than learning to touch type has to do
with writing poetry" - Ted Nelson
18. "The best programmers are not marginally better than
merely good ones. They are an order-of-magnitude better,
measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed,
ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability." - Randall
E. Stross
17. "If McDonald's were run like a software company, one out
of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and
the response would be, 'We're sorry; here's a coupon for two
more.'" - Mark Minasi
16. "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it
correct, not tried it." - Donald E. Knuth
15. "Computer system analysis is like child-rearing; you can
do grievous damage, but you cannot ensure success." - Tom
DeMarco
14. "I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not
shipping your machine!" - Vidiu Platon
13. "Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than
spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code." -
Christopher Thompson
12. "Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like
measuring aircraft building progress by weight." - Bill
Gates
11. "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the
first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as
possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug
it." - Brian W. Kernighan
10. "People think that computer science is the art of
geniuses, but the actual reality is the opposite, just many
people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of
mini stones." - Donald Knuth
9. "First learn computer science and all the theory. Next
develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just
hack." - George Carrette
8. "Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a
programmer. There are three, of course: laziness,
impatience, and hubris." - Larry Wall
7. "Most software today is very much like an Egyptian
pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other,
with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force
and thousands of slaves." - Alan Kay
6. "The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell
what a programmer is doing until it's too late." - Seymour
Cray
5. "To iterate is human, to recurse divine." - L. Peter
Deutsch
4. "On two occasions I have been asked [by members of
Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine
wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not
able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas
that could provoke such a question." - Charles Babbage
3. "Most good programmers do programming not because they
expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but
because it is fun to program." - Linus Torvalds
2. "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your
code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
- Martin Golding
1. "There are two ways of constructing a software design.
One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no
deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated
that there are no obvious deficiencies." - C.A.R. Hoare
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Must give credit to GCFL for forwarding this:
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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