Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House, thanks to The Onion !

Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House - The Onion - America's Finest News Source



Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House

ITHACA, NY—Citing a range of behavior that experts could only describe as “profoundly disturbed,” a new study released by Cornell University’s psychology department Thursday revealed that most otherwise normal people transform into complete psychotics when alone in the confines of their own homes.
The study, conducted in the households of millions of Americans over an 11-month period, states that from the moment the average person sets foot inside their front door, they begin exhibiting wildly unhinged mannerisms, including loudly talking to themselves; suddenly snapping their fingers for brief, three-to-five-second bursts for no reason whatsoever; and walking into their bathrooms, staring into the mirror, inflating their cheeks while making a grotesque face, and then leaving as if what they did was completely normal.
“Before we began, none of us could have guessed at the depths of psychosis the general public sinks into every day behind closed doors,” the study’s lead author, Dr. Peter Gibbon, told reporters. “Yet, as our research points out, even the most seemingly mentally healthy person devolves into fits of hysteria once in private, performing activities such as dancing in an entirely silent room and singing snippets of nonsensical songs that they’ve made up on the spot.”
“If they did any of these activities in public, a coworker would more than likely be compelled to report the individual to human resources, who would in turn contact a local psychiatric hospital or mental health center,” Gibbon added. “And a pedestrian would just assume the individual was a raving lunatic.”
Of those subjects who were observed, the report noted that 45 percent tend to break up periods of prolonged silence with quick, random sounds like “Hup!” “Tketetata,” and “Hello!” 63 percent would enter their kitchen, look into the refrigerator, close it, and go back to their living rooms without accomplishing anything—sometimes five times in a one-hour span—and 23 percent would create bizarre physical projects for themselves such as attempting to pick up a pen near their couch using only their toes.
In what could only in most cases be described as symptoms of severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and mania, nearly 95 percent of individuals, when alone in their houses, would spend three consecutive hours mindlessly scrolling through their smartphones, then looking at the same three websites on their computers, then bouncing back and forth between the same television channels, and then picking up their smartphones, thus setting the process into motion once again.
More than 500,000 individuals engaged in imaginary arguments in which they supplied lines of dialogue for their bosses or parents, and then proceeded to win the seemingly hallucinated verbal dispute point-by-point.
“We discovered that the private mannerisms of most people, if seen in public, would be considered nearly identical to the those of a person with a severe case of schizophrenia,” Gibbon stated. “For example, if you were to witness someone on a subway car obsessively pulling their elbow skin to check its elasticity or see an individual randomly say to themselves, ‘Okay, okay, I’ll call her’ to no one in particular, your immediate reaction would be to think, ‘This person is insane and needs professional help.’”
Yet the researchers were quick to point out that by far the most mentally unstable individuals they encountered were pet owners, who, when alone, would reportedly walk amongst their animals entirely in the nude, talk to them as if they were humans by saying such things as “I don’t want to go to the gym today, Corker,” and would cover them in blankets for no discernible reason other than to indulge in their own sick curiosity.
“Many pet owners would lie naked in bed and let their cats walk on their bare bodies, an act that, if done in public, would merit that person’s admission to a psychiatric treatment ward,” the study’s co-author Dr. Erica Crain said. “And though these people seemed to love their pets, they would also purposely frustrate them by poking their stomachs, squeezing their paws slightly harder than what would be deemed acceptable, or cornering them just to see what the pets’ reaction would be.”
“These are the actions of people with deep psychological problems,” Crain added. “And based on all of our findings, from the tens of millions who, out of nowhere, made cluck sounds with their tongues, or, completely unprompted, tried out a Barack Obama impression, we have been forced to conclude that all human beings are utterly out of their minds.”

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Why does my facebook post keep showing an old photo for my ad? or: caching - How to clear Facebook's image cache - thanks to Stack Overflow

caching - How to clear Facebook's image cache - Stack Overflow



Q: I have a Facebook application that's created several wall-posts on behalf of my users. The image in the wall posts is cached by Facebook's servers. I've replaced the original image on my server and I would like to clear Facebook's image cache so all of the other wall posts update with the new image.
Original cached URL, now updated with new image.http://vcweb2.s3.amazonaws.com/assets/web/images/icon_square.png
Is this possible? Thanks!
...
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A: The way to "force" facebook to clear their cache for a specific url is to use the Debugger tool.
I tried using the debugger with the url of the image and it shows the new image and not the old one, though when trying the cached link you posted the old image still appears.
I suspect that if you try to post new posts the new icon will be used and not the old cached version, but that link you posted probably won't be changed.
...
[Thanks again, stack exchange! - ed]

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Make your iPhone run faster by clearing up RAM and cache

15 iPhone Tricks Apple Has Been Hiding From You

Your phone can do a lot of things, but can it do what you want it to? Maybe. The engineers and designers at Apple are determined to make the most user-friendly products and anticipate your needs as much as possible. However, they're not always the best at letting their customers know all the things their products can do.

And with every new iOS update comes more functionality. You might not even recognize the phone you bought — but in a good way.

SHARE this with all the Apple fanatics you know!

1. Set a sleep timer for your music.

If you like to drift off to peaceful slumber to serene, relaxing music, but you don't want it to keep playing long after you're asleep, you can set a timer through the Clock app.

2. Create your own custom vibration pattern.

You can tap out your own vibration pattern to customize it for certain contacts or for types of notifications. Just go to Settings>Sounds>Ringtones>Vibration>Create New Vibration and use your finger to tap out the pattern.

3. Flashing alerts.

If you're in a crowded restaurant and waiting on an important call, you could easily miss your ringtone or vibration. Take it up a notch by enabling the camera's LED for notifications through Settings>General>Accessibility.

4. Shake it to undo mistake-filled typing.

Just like an Etch-A-Sketch (for those of you who remember such things), you can just shake your phone to start over fresh when you make mistakes.

5. Make your phone run faster by clearing up RAM.

If you hold down the power button long enough to see the "slide to power off" prompt and then hold down the home button, the screen will go blank and then your home screen will re-appear.

6. Make your phone run faster by clearing the cache.

If clearing the RAM didn't help much, try clearing the cache. In any of the App Store, Podcasts, Music, Game Center, and Phone apps, tap any single icon along the bottom 10 times to clear the cache.

7. Check timestamps for text messages.

Isn't it annoying how your conversations seem to float free in time, without any relation to reality? Well, the time stamps for messages are actually there; they're just off the screen. Drag your thumb to the left to reveal the time stamps of each message.

8. See all the tabs you recently closed in Safari.

If you want to go back and reread or forward an article you closed recently, just hold down the "+" symbol at the bottom of the screen to have Safari open up a list.

9. Turn your iPhone into a level.

You don't need to download a third-party app, just launch the Compass app and swipe left.

10. Provide critical medical information in case of emergency.

You always knew your phone was a lifesaver, but now it literally could be. You don't necessarily want to rely on your phone to cough up important information when your life is on the line, but it's another helpful tool. Fill out the form under the Health app with as little or as much detail as you like; remember, this information is available without unlocking your phone, so only put in info that you're comfortable sharing.

11. See only unread emails in your inbox.

Because a cluttered inbox is the worst, open the Mail app and tap the Mailboxes link, then tap "Edit." Tap the circle next to "Unread" and you'll have a folder with only your unread emails.

12. Find out what flights are overhead.

Ever see a jet up in the sky and wonder where those folks are headed? As with so many things in life, just ask Siri and she'll come up with the answer.

13. Don't settle for bad wifi.

Is there anything more frustrating than a slow connection? You don't have to suffer through that nightmare anymore. Go to Settings>Cellular, scroll to the bottom, and turn Wifi Assist on. Just like that, if you're on a poor wifi connection, your phone will automatically switch back to your LTE connection. And if you're worried about a big bill for data at the end of the month, Wifi Assist won't activate with background downloading or with some third-party streaming apps.

14. Use Night Shift and Low Power Mode at the same time.

Apple introduced the low-light mode to be easier on the eyes after dark, but for some reason didn't want it to be active at the same time as Low Power Mode. Determined users have found a workaround, however. Once again, get Siri to do it. Specifically, activate Low Power Mode in Settings>Battery, then start Siri and ask her to enable Night Shift. Siri will warn you about having to turn off Low Power Mode to turn on Night Shift, but tell her to go ahead anyway. Before Siri confirms, press the sleep button. You should hear a confirmation beep and, when you unlock your phone again, Night Shift and Low Power Mode should be running at the same time.

15. Hard reset.

When absolutely nothing else will work, it's time for a hard reset. Sometimes your phone just needs a timeout. Hold down the home and lock buttons for five seconds or until the Apple symbol shows up and you'll be back in business.

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