Sunday, October 14, 2012

Real Resume and Cover Letter Excerpts [from GCFL]

Real Resume and Cover Letter Excerpts

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were
printed in Fortune Magazine:

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet
progroms.

Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial
institutions.

Its best for employers that I not work with people.

You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No
Commitments.

As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing
investments.

Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I
have never quit a job.

Marital status: often. Children: various.

Finished eighth in my class of ten.

Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

Received from bestofhumor.com.

'via Blog this'

2 comments:

  1. Avoid Salary details in resume and cover letter. Make sure that your resume should reflect personality statement about you and your career.
    <a href="http://www.salesletter.org/”>Sales letter format</a>

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  2. I suppose I should clarify that these are *not* serious resume suggestions, but rather examples of things that are wrong/humorous for various reasons.
    As a one-time member of the frequent-resume-rewriter club, I felt the current members would appreciate some comic relief... :-)

    Cheers,
    Connie "Nothing is Obvious" O'Dell

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